It's the big question that's often overlooked... What's a safari actually like? For those of you who haven't dipped a toe in the African pool yet, the idea of venturing forth into uncharted territory on the Dark Continent may feel a bit overwhelming. So, let's try and sort that out with a few words from someone who has probably been on more safaris than anyone else we know - award-winning travel writer extraordinaire, Sharon Gilbert-Rivett... 

You're in Africa. In the middle of really wild country, far from home, surrounded by some of the most iconic animals on Planet Earth. It's so exciting it's scary. And it's so scary it's exciting. And everything in between. You're in a tent. Well, they say it's a tent but actually it looks more like a luxury apartment wrapped in canvas with built-in housekeeping and butler service. 

It's dark outside and your ears feel like they belong to a superhero in hyper alert mode because the noises all around you are mind-blowing - chirps, beeps, grunts, cheeps, tweets, something that sounds like a notification "ping" on steroids, another thing that reminds you of rewinding a video on play and an incessant hum that threatens to deafen you. An unidentified moving object is rustling in the bushes next to the tent and you're not sure whether to get up and find out what it is or just pretend you haven't heard it. 

You hear footsteps and all of a sudden a voice calls out softly... "Knock knock"... What the $%*@? Did you really hear that? "KNOCK KNOCK" (louder, this time). You reply. The voice says: "Good morning, we'll see you in 30 minutes." You sit up in bed and check your watch. It says 04h30. Your day on safari has begun... 

Into the wide, blue yonder

You've either jumped in the shower or just freshened up and thrown on some suitably neutral-coloured clothing before heading out to the rendezvous point for coffee and rusks or similarly yummy sugary nibbles designed to ward off any remnant of sleep.

The sky is slowly getting lighter, and you can't believe you've gotten out of bed so early on holiday. It seems inhumane, you think, as you climb onto an open safari vehicle, apprehensive about what happens next. 

As you leave the camp the cool, fresh air of morning smacks you in the face and any memory of slumber is wiped clean. You never knew Africa could be chilly, so you reach for the blanket you thought was provided as extra padding for the seat, throwing it over your knees while trying to look cool and rugged.

Next thing you know you're looking at an elephant, bang smack in front of the vehicle. Like 5m in front of the vehicle. It's just standing there looking all impressive and imposing. An actual elephant. In the flesh. Real. Jaw-droppingly, amazingly real. You can even smell it!

The next couple of hours fly by, interrupted by stops to admire animals in an equally up-close-and-personal fashion. You'd imagined sightings would be at a distance, not virtually in your lap. Your guide, who has been a font of knowledge and information, pulls the vehicle off the road and tells you you can get out. What? Out of the vehicle? Here? Seriously? 

Everyone else jumps off so you follow suit, intrigued and somewhat confused. In what seems like a few seconds your guide has conjured up a pot of hot, steaming coffee and freshly baked cookies and muffins like Harry Potter in khaki doing an impression of Bake Off. You're gobsmacked. In a good way.

An hour and several sightings later you're back in camp sitting in front of a sumptuous breakfast looking at a view straight from Planet Earth, happy as a pig in you-know-what.

Take a load off

After breakfast you go back to your canvas palace, have a nice long shower and plop on a lounger next to your private plunge pool with views of forever. Animals fly, walk, trot and slither by with gay abandon and you find a sense of peace you have never known before with so little sleep and so much excitement.

You feel your body sinking into the cushion below it like it had never experienced comfort before and your mind suddenly shifts into neutral, turning over just enough to keep you breathing. And awake. It's an awake like no other as you begin to realise just how insignificant you and your life are when compared to the magnificence of true wilderness.

You nod off with a smile plastered all over your face, waking up to swim, read, and nod off again in a rinse-and-repeat cycle of uber relaxation.

Eat more, play more

At around 15h00 it's time for "afternoon tea". Well, it's more like a smorgasbord of yum, actually, with sweet and savoury options and homemade iced-tea and iced-coffee, or similar. You feel like you've been on safari forever, even though it's only a few days into your African adventure and you're beginning to settle into the unique rhythm of safari.

So, when it's time to climb onto the safari vehicle once more you know what to expect and are ready for everything the wilderness throws at you, camera at the ready and feeling fabulous in every shade of beige and khaki. 

As the sun begins to sink towards the horizon your guide does the pulling off the road for a break thing again, this time creating a drinks bar with mouth-watering hors d'oeuvres with nothing but a cooler box. How does he do that? You learn that it's a tradition called "sundowners" and that every evening you'll be raising a glass to the setting sun in thanks for a fantastic day in Africa. Hear hear. 

It's getting  dark when you get back on the vehicle. What now? What on earth are you going to see in the dark? Harry Potter in khaki whips out the answer in the form of a spotlight that plugs into the vehicle's dashboard, taking off with wheel in one hand and said illumination machine in the other, scanning from side to side with a beam of bright light that suddenly brings light to the darkness.

It feels biblical. It is biblical, especially when the light catches the eyes of a nocturnal creature that you'd never see during the hours of daylight. This is a night drive. And it's epic, navigating the wilderness with just an oversized torch.

Redefining al fresco, and sleep

The African night eventually deposits you back at camp in time for dinner with a difference, outside on the deck under a canopy of stars the likes of which you've only seen in books. Or on Facebook. And YouTube. Which you realise you haven't looked at since you arrived. Ditto your emails. And WhatsApp. In fact, your phone has only been used to shoot videos of wildlife. How's that for a digital detox? 

Back to dinner. There's three courses of it because you're really hungry. And some wonderful wines to accompany it. You feel like you're in a dream as sensational food is delivered to you effortlessly in a place that's so far removed from normal it's insane.

Where do they get the ingredients? How do they manage to create culinary magic out here in wild Africa - a place that it took an hour to fly to? In a plane that felt smaller than a car? 

After dinner you sit next to the campfire, drink in hand, chatting freely to people you've only just met but who feel like family because of the day's shared experiences.

Eventually you feel the Sandman tugging at your eyes and you excuse yourself, making your way back to your tented mansion, accompanied by a nightwatchman with a torch, who checks for beasties along the way. 

You slip between the cool cotton sheets and hear a lion calling in the distance, and the eery whooping of a nearby hyena. As you drift off to sleep you wonder if things could get any better and realise that they couldn't. Africa tops everything, and life will never be the same.